Thursday, October 30, 2008

My Wedding Dress...

...zips up.

BOOYAH.

It's a silly tradition, I put my wedding dress on at some point on my wedding anniversary. Last anniversary, I was five months pregnant and wasn't zipping up anything except an oversized hoodie.

Okay, so I can only hold my shoulders in one specific posture. But can't I blame that on temporarily enlarged nursing breasts? I mean, as soon as I'm back to flat chested fabulousness, it'll be zipping up and down like a toddler on diet cola. Probably.

I'm not trying to lose weight. Whenever I try to lose weight I put on five pounds. I'm not trying to diet, either. If someone gives me a bag of Cranberry Moose Munch, clearly there is a divine hand pushing it towards me.

I'm also not trying to care that things are just in new places. Like back fat. Why do I have these two little flaps of pudge on my back? I didn't carry the baby on my spine in some kind of camel's hump. And saddlebags. I'm sure I didn't have those before I had the baby, and again, I didn't have pregnant thighs, but there they are, little pony express bags.

But as promised... nine months up, nine months down, not counting ten extra pounds. How long did it take you to lose that last ten after your baby? Did you ever lose it? Do you really care, deep down, as long as your old clothes can zip?

2 comments:

Anna said...

Nice! I wouldn't be able to fit into my wedding dress, even if I had one.

I go up and down like a roller coaster. Up pregnant, down nursing and assorted divorce/single-mom stress, up stress, down working a lot, up sweater weather. You get the picture.

CC said...

that is so cool that you put it on every year. Great idea. Too bad mine is in a closet 500 miles away....